Can spirituality and religion be used as a therapeutic strategy? More and more mental health professionals are finding that God can offer some of their clients more direction than they can. In the past, many Christians have neglected to get the help they need from a counselor because they were afraid their belief in God […]
Can spirituality and religion be used as a therapeutic strategy? More and more mental health professionals are finding that God can offer some of their clients more direction than they can.
In the past, many Christians have neglected to get the help they need from a counselor because they were afraid their belief in God would be ignored or, worse, belittled. But many therapists today are either religious/spiritual themselves, or highly respectful of their clients who hold Christian or other beliefs.
In faith-based therapy sessions, it is common to pray, use forgiveness protocols, and use biblical texts to reinforce healthy mental and emotional habits. Another important aspect of faith-based therapy is that when a therapist is willing to interact in a religious or spiritual way, it helps the client to trust them more. And trust is the most important thing between client and counselor.
Throughout life, we all face different crises and challenges. And during these times, it is common for people to turn to their faith.
The following are situations where faith-based counseling can be particularly beneficial:
For many Christians and people of other faiths, marriage is a life-long commitment and divorce is simply not an option. Faith-based therapy can help husbands and wives find their way back to one another through love, kindness, and respect.
None of us are given an instruction manual for how to raise our children. But the Bible certainly contains wisdom and lessons that are applicable to parents.
There are many ways to deal with and treat anxiety and depression. From cognitive-behavioral therapy to medications, traditional therapy can definitely help. But for some people, the real strength and answers they are seeking come from a higher source.
Sooner or later, all of us must deal with the loss of loved ones. While therapy can help take us through the steps of grieving, our faith is what helps us to truly heal, because we know we will see our loved ones someday.
If you have been wanting to speak with a mental health professional but feared they may reject your religion, I urge you to seek out a counselor who practices faith-based therapy.
And if you live in the area (or even if you don’t because I offer telehealth services), I practice faith-based therapy for Christians and people of other religions. Reach out to me and let’s talk about how I can help!
SOURCES:
Thanks to Hollywood, many couples have been led to believe the secret to reconnecting and rekindling the passion is through a Caribbean cruise, sports cars, or jewelry. But the reality is, once there’s a disconnect between partners, gifts and vacations simply won’t cut it. It may seem counterintuitive, but love is mended not through grandiose […]
Thanks to Hollywood, many couples have been led to believe the secret to reconnecting and rekindling the passion is through a Caribbean cruise, sports cars, or jewelry. But the reality is, once there’s a disconnect between partners, gifts and vacations simply won’t cut it.
It may seem counterintuitive, but love is mended not through grandiose deeds, but through small acts of kindness; through the seemingly micro-moments. It is in these moments when we have a choice to listen to our partner and love them.
If you and your partner are feeling disconnected, here are a few ways you can reconnect:
Pay Better Attention
It is not maliciousness but rather mindlessness that often causes a disconnect. When our partner turns to us with an emotional need, or to simply be heard, do we stop what we are doing and give them our full attention? Or do we mumble something and nod a little, all-the-while checking our Facebook page?
One of the most important steps to reconnecting is to become more self-aware and understand that you are, most likely, not paying your partner the kind of attention they seek and deserve. When they reach for you, reach back. Showing kindness and respect, especially in those moments when it feels hard (like when the game is on or your coworker is texting you juicy office gossip), will go a long way toward reconnecting you.
Try to Understand Your Partner Better
Often times disconnection comes not from what is said between you both but what is not said. Many couples complain they feel their partner wants them to be a mind reader!
But what partners really want is for the other person to take the time to get to know them. Think of it, if you’ve been with your spouse or partner for three years, five years, fifteen years and you STILL don’t know what scares them, frustrates them or pleases them, what does that say? They are not worth you taking the time to try and understand them as a person?
If you truly want to reconnect, know it will take work, and much of that work will simply be learning how your partner operates. The good news is, understanding each other better means you won’t take things so personally anymore. Instead of seeing your partner as angry or defensive all the time, you’ll recognize his sensitivities and her fears.
Play
Reconnecting shouldn’t feel like work! The best way to rekindle the joy and passion is to play together. Go to a movie, play air hockey, try rollerblading… whatever it is, just try and have genuine fun together.
Relationships are work, and most couples will experience a sense of disconnect from time to time. If you follow these three steps, you’ll be able to not only reconnect but feel closer than ever. And, if you feel you need more help reconnecting with one another, seek the guidance of a therapist.
If you or a loved one is interested in exploring treatment, please contact me today. I would be happy to speak with you about how I may be able to help.
For many couples, the discovery of a spousal affair is the ultimate betrayal. And yet, the betrayal by one does not necessarily decrease the love of either party for the other. When you still love someone but the trust has been significantly damaged, is it possible to mend the relationship? Can marriages be rebuilt after […]
For many couples, the discovery of a spousal affair is the ultimate betrayal. And yet, the betrayal by one does not necessarily decrease the love of either party for the other. When you still love someone but the trust has been significantly damaged, is it possible to mend the relationship? Can marriages be rebuilt after an affair?
Dr. Janis Spring is a clinical psychologist and author of After the Affair: Healing the Pain and Rebuilding Trust When a Partner Has Been Unfaithful and How Can I Forgive You? The Courage to Forgive, the Freedom Not To. Through her work she has found that relationships can become even stronger after such a betrayal, provided the couples take some crucial steps.
Take Responsibility for the Pain Caused
Many unfaithful spouses are overcome with guilt and, because of it, urge their partners to put the deed behind them so they can move on and heal. This is a mistake, and one certainly not fair to the other spouse.
According to Dr. Spring, the offender must take responsibility and “bear witness” to the pain they have caused rather than defend or deflect their actions. This step is vital before the couple can begin the healing process.
Avoid Cheap Forgiveness
Sometimes, in an effort to save a marriage, the wronged partner quickly forgives the cheater before he or she has had a full chance to feel their anger and hurt. Spring calls this “cheap forgiveness” and warns that it can set up a marriage for future infidelities.
The behavior, she has noticed, is prevalent among individuals who are more afraid of being alone than staying in an unhealthy relationship with an unfaithful partner. But, cheap forgiveness essentially lets the cheater off scott-free and sends a message that the behavior is okay.
Shared Responsibility
There are some situations where, even when only one person has strayed, both parties share guilt. While the unfaithful person has to take responsibility, own up to their guilt, and allow their partner to vent, the wronged party must also acknowledge their own role. What led to feelings of emotional distance and isolation? Did their own behavior cause their spouse to stray?
Shared responsibility is necessary for healing and true intimacy.
Let Go
Once full responsibility is taken and grieving has happened, it is now time for both parties to “let it go” and begin coming back together. A couple has no chance of rebuilding trust if the wronged partner is going to hold onto the resentment and use it against their spouse in future situations.
Above all else, Spring advises that rebuilding trust after an affair takes time. Each couple is different. While some may feel closure after six months, others may need a year or year and a half to fully come together. Some couples may find they need the guidance of a therapist to move through their issues. But the important thing is that both parties remain committed and do the work.
If you or a loved one is interested in exploring treatment, please contact me today. I would be happy to speak with you about how I may be able to help.
Traumatic events such as war, rape, and severe accidents can lead people to suffer from symptoms of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). What we have recently discovered is that any event that is experienced as threatening can generate PTSD-like symptoms and negatively affect a person’s quality of life. Somatic Experiencing® (SE™) was developed by psychologist Peter A. […]
Traumatic events such as war, rape, and severe accidents can lead people to suffer from symptoms of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). What we have recently discovered is that any event that is experienced as threatening can generate PTSD-like symptoms and negatively affect a person’s quality of life.
Somatic Experiencing® (SE™) was developed by psychologist Peter A. Levine to address the effects of trauma. Levine developed this modality after noticing that prey animals, whose lives are constantly under threat in their natural habitat, are able to recover quickly by releasing stressful energy accumulated during the event.
Human beings don’t have this same capability of processing trauma. We tend to override this natural way of regulating our nervous system and instead feel emotions like fear and shame. Somatic Experiencing helps people move past the trauma.
Somatic therapy combines psychotherapy with physical therapies to bring about the holistic – or whole-person – healing. This modality focuses on the mind-body connection and uses talk therapy along with physical therapy techniques to release pent-up tension in the body that is negatively impacting a person’s health and well-being.
Somatic therapy can be very beneficial to people who have suffered trauma or abuse, as well as people who suffer from stress, anxiety, depression, grief, and addiction. This technique can be used in individual and group settings and may prove effective when other traditional forms of treatment have not delivered results.
During a session, a therapist uses talk therapy to help their client revive past memories of traumatic experiences. The client then pays attention to any physical responses. Physical therapy techniques such as deep breathing, relaxation, and meditation are used to help relieve symptoms. Other adjunctive physical techniques that may be used with this therapy include yoga, dance, exercise, or other types of movement and massage.
Somatic therapy can easily be integrated into other counseling practices. You’ll want to begin by looking for a somatic therapist that is licensed and experienced in somatic therapy techniques. In addition to looking for someone with the right skills and background, it’s also important that you find someone you feel comfortable with.
Somatic experiencing is an excellent way of getting rid of what is stuck and holding you back from experiencing joy and peace in your life. If you’d like to explore this treatment approach, please get in touch with me. I’d be more than happy discussing how I may be able to help.
SOURCES:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-intelligent-divorce/201503/somatic-experiencing
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapy-types/somatic-therapy
https://psychcentral.com/lib/how-why-somatic-experiencing-works/
https://www.goodtherapy.org/learn-about-therapy/types/somatic-experiencing
As the events of COVID-19 continue to unfold, many of us are focusing on how we can keep ourselves and our families as healthy as possible. While social distancing and increased hand washing can be very effective at stopping the spreading of the Corona virus, it is equally important to keep our immune systems strong. […]
As the events of COVID-19 continue to unfold, many of us are focusing on how we can keep ourselves and our families as healthy as possible. While social distancing and increased hand washing can be very effective at stopping the spreading of the Corona virus, it is equally important to keep our immune systems strong.
With this in mind, here are some of the absolute best foods you can eat to help support your immune system:
Blueberries are loaded with powerful antioxidants. In fact, they contain a type of flavonoid called anthocyanin, which has antioxidant properties that can boost your immune system. A 2016 study found that flavonoids play an essential role in the respiratory tract’s immune defense system. The researchers found that people who ate foods rich in flavonoids were less likely to get sick with respiratory tract infections and the common cold.
Turmeric is the aromatic spice that makes curry yellow. It is also often used in alternative medicine thanks to its active compound curcumin. Curcumin has been shown to improve a person’s immune response because of its antioxidant and anti-inflammatory effects.
Popeye knew that spinach would help him be stronger. But I wonder if he knew how good it was for his immune system. Spinach contains vitamin C & E, as well as beneficial flavonoids and carotenoids. Not only are vitamin C & E great for the immune system, but research shows flavonoids may help prevent common colds in otherwise healthy people. So, it stands to reason it may help protect against other viruses as well.
Most of us, when we feel an illness coming on, reach for more vitamin C-rich foods. But what is it about vitamin C specifically that makes it so good for our immune systems?
Vitamin C is believed to increase the production of white blood cells. These are the cells responsible for attacking foreign invaders like bacteria and viruses.
Some popular citrus fruits high in vitamin C include:
Unlike other animals whose bodies do produce vitamin C, humans must get their vitamin C from the foods they eat or through supplementation. So be sure to add more citrus fruits to your diet.
We can’t talk about vitamin C without mentioning that ounce for ounce, red bell peppers contain even more vitamin C than most citrus fruits. So if you prefer veggies to fruits, then be sure to eat more red bell peppers.
While this is not an exhaustive list of immune-boosting foods, it will get you started eating right so you can stay healthy during this pandemic. It’s also important to stay hydrated and eliminate sugars and trans fats from your diet as well.
SOURCES:
https://www.healthline.com/health/food-nutrition/foods-that-boost-the-immune-system
Humans are social creatures and we don’t do well in isolation. That’s exactly why state penitentiaries punish prisoners by putting them into solitary confinement. It causes them great mental anguish. Many of us have felt like prisoners in solitary confinement over the last couple of months because of the COVID-19 pandemic and subsequent lockdown. And […]
Humans are social creatures and we don’t do well in isolation. That’s exactly why state penitentiaries punish prisoners by putting them into solitary confinement. It causes them great mental anguish.
Many of us have felt like prisoners in solitary confinement over the last couple of months because of the COVID-19 pandemic and subsequent lockdown. And many of us have been feeling our own mental anguish from this extended isolation.
Who knows how long this may go on? While none of us have control over what our governments do, we do have control over ourselves and our perceptions of the world. With this in mind, here are some tips for coping with social isolation, for however long it goes on.
If you’re paying attention, it almost seems as if the media is trying to confuse us and cause panic more than report on actual news. Watching too much news doesn’t help anyone’s anxiety levels, so stay informed as best you can but don’t binge-watch.
Being isolated can get very boring very quickly so it’s important that you try and get creative with your time. This could mean painting the living room and rearranging the furniture or getting your husband and kids to learn a new language with you. It could mean experimenting with an old recipe or making up a game with your kids. Just have fun and think outside the box!
Now is a great time to reconnect with friends and loved ones you haven’t spoken to in a while. And technology like Skype and Facetime makes it incredibly easy to chat with someone no matter where in the world they are.
A lot of the anxiety we may feel comes from the fact we aren’t moving our bodies as much as we usually do. It’s important to stay physically active during this time. So get outside and get some sun. Go for a walk or ride your bike. Not only is exercise good for us physically, but physical activity releases endorphins that make us feel good mentally and emotionally as well.
The world is a chaotic place right now and it seems we are being hit with noise and negativity from all sides. It’s important to make time each day for some quiet meditation.
If you’ve never meditated before, that’s okay. Just try it.
One of the easiest ways to meditate is through a listening meditation. Find a space in your house where you can be alone and get into a comfortable position. Close your eyes and breathe deeply in and out… and simply listen to the ambient sounds.
What do you hear? The buzzing of a light? A fly? Your dog’s collar rattling down the hall as he scratches. Expand your hearing to see what else can you hear outside your house. Birds? Lawnmowers? Traffic?
Simply breathe and listen intently for 5-10 minutes. When you listen, you can’t think at the same time, and so you will notice finally your thoughts go quiet. This is paradise!
If you find that the social isolation is really beginning to trouble you and you’d like to speak with someone, please get in touch. I would be happy to discuss how I may be able to help.
SOURCES:
As a result of the Coronavirus pandemic, many therapists have had to quickly pivot and offer their clients online sessions in an effort to help them to continue to make progress while at the same time abide by the social distancing guidelines to flatten the curve. While it seems our country and the rest of […]
As a result of the Coronavirus pandemic, many therapists have had to quickly pivot and offer their clients online sessions in an effort to help them to continue to make progress while at the same time abide by the social distancing guidelines to flatten the curve.
While it seems our country and the rest of the world are slowly opening back up, many of us have learned something very important during this crisis: telehealth offers clients something very valuable, and that is therapy on THEIR terms. It’s really not so surprising that telehealth is currently a $6 billion industry that is expected to reach $20 billion by 2025.
Here are just some of the benefits of “virtual therapy”:
Traditionally, many people, especially those that live in smaller towns and cities, refuse to seek help from a therapist for fear people will find out. With telehealth, a patient can receive help from the comfort and privacy of their own home. This can be particularly helpful for therapists who treat teens and young adults who go to the same school/college and can feel ashamed of seeking professional help.
Not many of us ever feel we have enough time in the day to accomplish all that we need to. You will find your clients will appreciate telehealth because it saves them having to deal with traffic, scheduling in possible long drive times, and looking for parking.
I have found in my own practice that those clients who often require my services the most are the ones that are overworked and often have scheduling conflicts. Telehealth helps you to offer clients timeslots outside of regular hours that you may not normally have available.
Therapists benefit from telehealth as well. In any given month, many clients may show up late to an appointment. When a session can begin with the simple mouse-click, timeliness is greatly improved.
Online therapy means a therapist can run their practice without the need of a front desk staff or paying for office space each month. This extra revenue can greatly impact their life.
These are only a handful of the benefits telehealth offers to both providers and patients. And while it will be a bit more time before clients and therapists fully embrace online therapy, the future looks bright.
SOURCES:
“Pay attention!” It’s a phrase that is uttered dozens of times a week (if not more) in households where children between the ages of two and 18 reside. How is it that when they WANT to, oh say when they are playing video games or watching cartoons, kids can have a tremendous attention span. But […]
“Pay attention!”
It’s a phrase that is uttered dozens of times a week (if not more) in households where children between the ages of two and 18 reside. How is it that when they WANT to, oh say when they are playing video games or watching cartoons, kids can have a tremendous attention span. But at any other time, getting them to be present is harder than getting them to close the refrigerator door!
While getting kids to pay attention can seem frustrating, there is an answer to the madness: mindfulness.
Several studies have shown that kids who participate in mindfulness programs are happier. And the sooner you get kids started with mindfulness, the easier it becomes for them to develop a capacity to become calm and centered when life throws them stressful situations.
What does this look like in real life?
Well, picture how a normal 7-year old responds to a situation that is scary, overwhelming, and generally unpleasant. Say they are getting ready to take a hard test or going to the dentist. Most will become so fearful and anxious that they have a hard time being calmed by a parent or other guardian.
The 7-year old who practices mindfulness meditation knows to stop, closed their eyes, and breathe deeply to get themselves calm and focused.
The two outcomes are vastly different. That’s because meditation and deep breathing exercises actually change the physiology of the brain, according to scientists. Instead of kids reacting emotionally to a charged situation (being controlled by their emotions), children can control their impulses and reactions to that situation.
OK, but how do you get kids to practice mindfulness when it’s difficult to get them to do pretty much anything, let alone meditate! Here are some ways you can help your kids become more mindful:
Spend time helping kids understand what is happening to their bodies during stressful and calm situations. Ask them to explore their emotions. The more insight they have into their inner experience, the better able they will be to control their responses to external experiences.
Practice deep breathing with your child. You can do it while driving or before putting them to bed at night. Share with them how to relax, slowly breathe in deeply and exhale. Invite them to feel any tension melt away.
Your child will not even want to try and be mindful and in control when they see you out of control. Are you one to yell at other drivers? Do you get far too angry when your dog tracks mud in the house? Does a telemarketer at dinner send you through the roof? If so, it’s time to try deep breathing and meditation yourself. Be an example. If your child sees mommy or daddy handling stress in healthier ways, they will be far more likely to give it a go.
While it will take some effort to get your kid to commit to practicing mindfulness, the results that it will bring to their life are completely worth it.
SOURCES:
Not many of us will get through life without feeling some anger now and then. And that’s okay; anger is a normal human emotion that can even be healthy to feel at times. Bottling up our emotions, any of them is not good for our minds, hearts, or bodies, so letting them out is important. […]
Not many of us will get through life without feeling some anger now and then. And that’s okay; anger is a normal human emotion that can even be healthy to feel at times. Bottling up our emotions, any of them is not good for our minds, hearts, or bodies, so letting them out is important.
Having said this, it’s important to express our anger in a manner that doesn’t bring emotional harm to anyone else. When expressed in a loud manner, anger can seem very scary and hostile to the people around us. At the same time, angry people tend to have trouble hearing others and empathizing with their feelings.
It’s not always easy for people to recognize whether they have a problem with anger management. You may assume how you feel and act is how everyone feels and acts. But recognizing you may have an issue is the first step in getting the help you need.
The following are some symptoms and scenarios that indicate you may have an anger management problem:
Can you honestly relate to any of these? If so, the good news is, anger can be managed.
Anger that is left to fester can lead to mental and physical health problems. Anger can negatively impact the relationships you have with loved ones, work colleagues, and most importantly, yourself. Chronic raging anger can also lead to poor health outcomes such as heart disease, high blood pressure, and stroke.
One of the most effective therapies for treating people with anger issues is hypnotherapy.
Hypnotherapy can identify the underlying source of anger and then help the person change their thought patterns. Anger management issues typically stem from past experiences. These experiences become embedded in a person’s psyche where they tend to shape their belief system and behavior for the rest of their life.
But hypnotherapy allows a person to get into a relaxed mental state where, with the help of a trained hypnotherapist, they can tap into the unconscious mind to change their negative thought processes. This in turn will change how the person reacts to certain anger triggers in their life. After a series of hypnotherapy sessions, the person should begin to feel calmer and more relaxed even when “provoked.” They can then relate to others in a more appropriate way.
If you or someone you love suffers from anger management issues and would like to explore hypnotherapy options, please get in touch with me. I would be more than happy to discuss how I may be able to help.
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Most human beings don’t get through life without dealing with their fair share of stress. But some people seem to deal with more stress than others. For instance, according to a report by the American Psychological Association (APA), both low-income populations and racial minorities have a greater risk of developing mental and physical health issues […]
Most human beings don’t get through life without dealing with their fair share of stress. But some people seem to deal with more stress than others. For instance, according to a report by the American Psychological Association (APA), both low-income populations and racial minorities have a greater risk of developing mental and physical health issues as a result of stress. The APA report focused on the need for raising public awareness regarding the stress-inducing implications of persistent exposure to subtle biases and microaggressions.
In the meantime, what can these populations do to manage their stress so they experience better health outcomes? Here are some proven stress management techniques to cope with whatever life throws at you:
Reframing is an exercise that allows us to see the whole picture. Often times, when we experience a negative situation, we become emotionally wrapped up in the negative. But life is complex, and often there is good to be seen along with the bad. The good may be how we handled a situation or how our friends and family gave us support and strength. When we reframe, we step away from our emotions to look at the situation fully and honestly.
Stress causes tension in the body, and this tension can result in chronic health issues such as high blood pressure and chronic inflammation. It’s important to learn healthy ways to bring about relaxation. You might try tools such as progressive muscle relaxation, deep breathing, guided imagery, and biofeedback for managing your stress.
Over two decades of research on mindfulness shows that it is highly effective in managing stress. Mindfulness meditation involves fully focusing your awareness on the present moment. Through this practice, you accept your thoughts and feelings without judging them. There are a variety of online resources to help you get started.
When we are stressed, our body experiences the “fight or flight response.” This entails a number of stress hormones to be released into our bloodstream. These hormones make our hearts beat faster and direct blood flow away from our brains and core into our arms and legs so we can remove ourselves from the perceived danger.
But for many of us, the danger is not physical but mental and emotional. And so we don’t burn through these hormones and they linger in our bodies causing damage. For instance, one of the hormones released is cortisol, which if levels are left unchecked, can cause high blood pressure and damage to the brain.
Exercise is one of the best ways to burn through these “fight or flight” chemicals. In addition, exercise helps with the production of feel-good endorphins.
These are just some of the ways you can better manage the stress in your life so it doesn’t negatively impact your health. If at the end of the day, you need more help, I encourage you to reach out to a mental health therapist who can provide you with even more stress management tools.
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